I love food. Let me start over. I love real food. The food that is rich, decadent, tantalizing and all of the words the foodie mags use. All of the other stuff that people eat, and kids seem to love, is just okay. And since I share my meals with children I am stuck most of the time eating the just okay stuff but it doesn't mean I don't try and get more out of our time at the table.
Good nutrition, good manners and a good time can all be had at the same table.
I've shared the shift changes of our breakfast table and the madness of our lunches. But what about our dinners? The time when The Munchkin and my husband, The Farmer, leave their out-in-the-real-world-lives and return to our house.
Dinner is surprisingly good. I have high expectations of everyone at dinner. The Munchkin fills all the drinks, The Cowboy puts out napkins and forks and The Farmer and I dish up (and for two of the plates, basically dice) whatever kid-friendly things we're calling supper. We sit down and actually really enjoy ourselves. But here are the behind the scenes magic tricks:
1. Milk is always served with dinner. No juice, just milk, no refills. And since this has never been a discussion, it is never a fight.
2. Nobody eats in their room, in front of the tv or "later". We eat together. We eat at the table. We eat now.
3. Everyone gets one "free vegetable" that they will never have to eat. Mine is peas. But every single other vegetable is not up for argument. And if I ever decide I like peas after all (not likely, this has been going on since I was four) I am allowed to change my free vegetable on my birthday. Same rules for everyone else.
4. Everyone also gets one specific "free dinner" that they will never have to eat. This is the same scenario as the vegetable but applies to the entire meal. The Munchkin's is tacos. You may be wondering if all of these free this and that create a lot of short order cooking and really it doesn't. If you use your free vegetable you get a fruit cup with your dinner. If you use your free dinner you get a can of soup. But the benefits of such a system are amazing. We don't have night after night after night of: yuck, I hate this, there is no way I'm eating that. I've given a little and will budge no more, and they know this.
5. Dessert is not a reward for eating your dinner. That is training your children for a lifetime of struggles. If dessert is the reward then dinner is what they must endure to get it. Um, why are we telling our kids the proteins and veggies are bad? See, bad message creates bad habits.
Instead, we have nights that dessert is served and nights it is not. Period. Now I may use some discretion and a child who ate only two bites of roast may get a slightly smaller scoop of ice cream. But they are not punished or rewarded with food.
6. Nobody leaves the table until everyone is done. And when we leave the table we each have a job. Who has what job varies from night to night, but the jobs are always the same: food putter away-er (that is the official name), dish scraper, table washer and floor sweeper. We will need to add a fifth job once The Ladybug is old enough to help, but until then the four accomplish all that really needs done.
So there you have it. We have a pretty good time at dinner. Our kids laugh, say 'excuse me please' and eat, all at the same table. And some nights, we all stick around long after the meal is done, telling stories, making funny faces and yes, I admit it, sometimes making farting sound with our faces. But hey, even manners can be overrated at times.
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